Why I Break Up ?

I had witnessed two wedding last weekend. and both of them are being done next to a pool. so lets call it a Pool Wedding. Its very nice. but I think I would prefer a Beach Wedding better. or Meadow.

I will get married, inshaAllah. Not that I wouldnt...no lah. but i had always failed to get there. I almost get into a marriage (people knew me know it by the way) but yeah, halfway. I'm not ready. I dont think so. Not yet. Not when I think someone is trying to control my life.

but its not weird, it happen most of the time. I broke up with my ex-bf (i had more than one ex okay, so dont guess!) originally when he asked me for an engangement. I still in college! and he is working with TUDM as an engineer. Trying to force an engagement, its selfish.

or when onother ex say : lepas kawin you should be doing this. and this. I will be your husband, so you need to follow.

Yes, this is the turning point. I might not say, NO. I might flash a smile and nod. but at the back of my mind i was planning to leave.Better now than late =)

Anyway, I'm not that bad/cruel as what YOU thought I am. I dont leave a guy for a single reason. I left when reasons accumulated. Piled in. When I gave a bit more time for that person to change but nothing happen. I will leave. Sometimes, you can love someone and by time, you can either hate that person, or you feel nothing at all. Its common. If not why should divorce happen? You love someone for reasons that he have, and you can leave him for reasons that he create too.

Men come and goes but Love Remain. The only thing change is the one who fill it.

I will get married. Of course I will, but when I'm ready. When will it be?

When I know i can live the next 100 years with him without him doing injustice to me. When he say we are now ONE, and he seriously think and act that way. Which means, in whatever situation, he will think for both of us. Not merely for his own sake. Marriage is NOT OWNING. Its not owning a woman as yours. Its about taking care of her. its about being one. and it will only happen when i TRUST that he would lead my life better than myself does.

(when the time comes, i would prefer a sweet wedding like this - in a meadow - very cost effecrive.haha)

- sometimes even me wonder who that person gona be, as i never succed to settle down.as i never been ready for it-